A New Year, a New Journal...Sort Of

For Christmas this year I received a very nice copy of "The Gnostic Bible" from my parents, my previous copy of the gnostic gospels having gone missing some years ago in college. I suppose I should not say missing, since I know of its last whereabouts, and can extrapolate from that as to who has it or what might of happened to it, but that is neither here or nor there, and and since I do not intend to pursue the issue with this unnamed party, I shall leave it at that.

The Gnostic Bible is a newer print, and contains several volumes that were not in its predecessor. I have not delved deep enough into it yet to see if the translation is any better, but if the forward is any indication, the authors put a severe amount of work into maintaining both accuracy and the writing's poetry. I will write more on it once I have had a chance to read a bit further.

Last week at work I finally remembered to ask my employer if the company would pay for my AICPA membership, which fortunately it appears that they will. I would have joined regardless, since I want a subscription to the Journal of Accountancy again, which I have not had since college, but it is good to know I will not have to set aside the cash to pay for it. Also, with luck, this will open some doors for me to use to show that I am taking initiative in furthering my accounting career, which has been weighing on my mind lately, with another semi-annual review around the corner. The time in my life where accounting was merely a job that I left behind at the office every night is rapidly coming to a close.

I have also been focusing on a particularly perplexing koan lately, which I am having trouble solving, or to be more precise, not solving: How do you fill a cup which is already full? I have been using this koan for meditation now for some time, but have not yet been able to yet to come to terms with a satisfactory non-answer. Perhaps I simply am not clearing my mind as completely as I should be, or perhaps I am merely thinking on the koan itself to much. Or perhaps this is the exact sort of situation that requires proximity to a true zen master. I still have not reached a point where I can accept the idea of enlightenment via proximity, but perhaps this is another hurdle that I need to overcome.

My non-acceptance of so many ideas is due partially to my full cup nature, which is what led me away from orthodox Christianity (not to be confused with the Orthodox Church), and eventually to Buddhism in the first place. However, I still retain so many opinions and bias, I find it difficult to seperate what I believe, and what I do not. I hate to even use the word "belief" now, because of all the negative connotations that it holds in my life. I refuse to "believe" anything, yet accept everything at a base level until it is proven otherwise. I am an enigma wrapped in a riddle covered in hypocrisy.

I shall continue to meditate on this.

Tomorrow begins the last week of work in 2009, and puts me exactly two weeks before the official start of tax season. At that point I will be increasing my weekly hours up to 55 for the month of January, and then up to 75 from for the February to April stretch. I have a new regimen of energy supplements to ensure that I don't pass out at my desk too often, but we will see how long anything even slightly resembling a routine lasts.

I forgot to mention earlier that I also received a copy of "Let the Right One In" from my wife. I enjoyed the movie, and am very much looking forward to reading the novel that it was based on. Twilight has nothing on this story.

Oh, and one last note. My intent from this point on is to update this journal every Wednesday and Sunday. I am currently thinking of this as a new years resolution of sorts, never mind that it is not yet 2010. Please keep an eye out for updates.